george washington rises from the dead
"you done fucked up"
"the fuck did i tell you about political parties"
"I SAID FOUR GODDAMN THINGS, AMERICA. POLITICAL PARTIES ARE DANGEROUS. PAY OFF THE FUCKING DEBT. ISOLATIONISM! AND FREE FUCKING TRADE! SO WHAT DO YOU DO? ‘OH LET’S SPLIT THE GOVERNMENT! LET’S SPEND WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH! LET’S MAKE ALLIANCES!’ GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AMERICA! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I WILL TURN THIS COUNTRY AROUND.
When aliens in galaxies 70 million light years away look through a telescope at Earth, they see dinosaurs.
Is that why there has been no alien contact? Because as far as aliens are concerned, there is legitimately no intelligent life on earth?
shit son there still isn’t intelligent life on earth
I hid all my roommates shoes in the bathroom and he had to go to class barefoot so now he’s really angry at me and he says he’s gonna get revenge
this has gone too far
I guess you could say, revenge is sweet
NOO THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR CLEVER PUNS NO